The Unspoken Change:
Before menopause: What did you know?
By Lucine Ohanian, Undergraduate Psychology Intern
Unspoken Change Interview with Maria Mayes
Maria Mayes, NBC-HWC, Certified Hypnotherapist, Founder of Take 5 Health and Host of the Chakras & Chardonnay Podcast
Maria Mayes is the founder of Take 5 Health, LLC, a wellness business that grew from her personal journey with health, stress management and holistic practices. Her wellness journey began around 2016. After experiencing significant losses, Mayes became interested in how practices such as hypnotherapy and neuroplasticity could help people change their behaviors and reconnect with themselves. In 2020 she built these practices into a holistic health business that includes yoga, breathwork, Ayurveda, hypnotherapy and nervous system regulation.
Her approach combines hypnotherapy and Ayurvedic teachings with an emphasis on helping people “remember who they are.” Mayes also hosts the Chakras & Chardonnay podcast, exploring consciousness, connection and Chardonnay.
A big part of her philosophy is making choices from a place of love and nourishment rather than fear. This can even apply to the mindful consumption of something like Chardonnay: is the choice coming from self-love and nourishment, or from fear and disconnection? Ultimately, she asks, what is the most loving choice you can make?
The Interview
Who first taught you about menopause? Your mother, family, school, friends?
When discussing menopause, Mayes explained that she did not learn much about it from her mother or family. Instead, she learned through friends, social media and eventually her own experience. As her body began to change, she also noticed emotional changes, including depression and feelings of dysregulation. She explored traditional and complimentary approaches as supports that may work for her.
Were there any things about menopause that you were surprised to learn from your clients who have experienced it?
From her own journey and working with others, Mayes emphasized that menopause is different for every woman and often involves trial and error. She also reflected on something that is receiving increasing attention in conversations about menopause: the intersection of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), trauma history and the menopause transition.
For Mayes, menopause can be a time when experiences from earlier in life take on new significance. She talked about how earlier trauma, adversity or grief may feel present again or be understood differently during this stage. She described it as a time of reflection, when even grief you thought you had processed can sometimes resurface as you are once again considering who you are and what you have lived through.
Expectations, Fears and Change
Did you have any fears or negative expectations about menopause? Where do you think those ideas came from?
When asked about fears surrounding menopause, Mayes described encountering fear-based messages through social media, conversations with friends and healthcare experiences. Weight gain, emotional dysregulation, hot flashes and other changes framed negatively can affect how a woman feels about herself. She believes women can challenge those messages and choose a more compassionate way of speaking to themselves.
What are three emotions that come up most often when you think about menopause?
“Grief, love and frustration.”
Did you expect menopause to change the way you saw yourself or your femininity?
Exploring the topic of femininity brought more complexity and language still to be discovered. Mayes shared some of the grief involved, as well as the ongoing process of meeting these changes with self-love.
Are there aspects of menopause that you think women can come to feel positively about?
Menopause is an opportunity for women to step into what Mayes calls “main character energy.” After years of nurturing family, children, friends and others, women can begin directing some, if not a lot, of that energy toward themselves.
For Mayes, this means taking up space, becoming your authentic self and no longer minimizing yourself for others.
“MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY.” Taking up space. Becoming your authentic self. No longer minimizing yourself for others. — Maria Mayes
What do you wish men and women would understand about menopause?
Ultimately, Mayes wants people to understand that menopause is much bigger than just the physical. It can affect a woman’s mental, emotional and spiritual life. She believes women deserve to have these experiences understood and approached with reverence.
She joked, “It is not for the weak.” Behind the humor is a message about strength and self-acceptance.
Menopause can be a difficult transition, but Mayes believes it can also be a powerful opportunity to reflect, reconnect and enter a new stage where caring for yourself becomes just as important as caring for everyone else.
What do you wish you had been told about menopause when you were my age?
“You are going to love yourself in more ways than you ever knew possible. You will cry and you will love—even as you do your lymphatic self-massage on flabby arms (a technique called Abhyanga in ayurvedic practices), and tell your body you love her.” She adds, “And you will be so in love with your strength, compassion, resilience and love.”
Reflections on the Interview
As a 21-year-old woman growing up in an age shaped by social media, technology and constantly changing expectations for women, my interview with Mayes left me feeling inspired.
Women are capable of carrying human life, but our identities should never be reduced to that ability. We are more than reproductive roles, and we are more than what society expects us to become. As a psychology intern learning about women, health and well-being, this conversation also made me think about how much more we still need to understand about women’s experiences across the lifespan.
Medical practices and our culture have an opportunity to listen more closely to women and take our experiences seriously. Ultimately, Mayes wants people to understand that menopause is much bigger than just the physical. Menopause can affect a woman’s mental, emotional and spiritual life. Women are truly deserving to be understood and approached with reverence. She joked, “It is not for the weak,” but the humor behind this incredible message is about strength and self-acceptance. Menopause can be such a difficult transition, but Mayes believes it can also be a powerful opportunity to reflect, reconnect and enter a new stage where caring for yourself becomes just as important as caring for everyone else.
Learn More About Take 5 Health
Maria Mayes is the founder of Take 5 Health, where her work brings together health and wellness coaching, hypnotherapy, Ayurveda, nervous system practices and other approaches to supporting well-being.
She is also the host of Chakras & Chardonnay, a podcast exploring the intersection of consciousness, connection and enjoying the beautiful things in life.
From Maria’s Work - A blog that stood out to me
Read the Take 5 Health Blog: “How Hydrated Are You? (And I’m Not Just Talking About Water)”
Why is making a daily habit—even something as small as drinking electrolytes or warm water in the morning—so difficult? How have you made the practice easier for yourself?
Maria returned to the idea that ran throughout their conversation: make it a love-based choice rather than something you “have to” do. Nourishment.
About The Author
Lucine Ohanian · Undergraduate Psychology Intern with Julie Cardoza, LMFT · Psychology major, California State University, Fresno · Writer of The Unspoken Change
Hi, I’m Lucine Ohanian, a psychology major in my final year at Fresno State. I’ve always been interested in understanding people, their experiences and the stories that shape who they become. As I continue this journey into psychology, I hope to use what I learn to support and empower others, especially women. Outside of psychology, writing has always been a meaningful part of who I am. I love writing poetry because it gives me space to put feelings into words that might otherwise go unspoken. Through this blog, I hope to share my thoughts, experiences and reflections while continuing to learn about myself and the world around me.
Disclaimer
The Unspoken Change is an educational interview and reflection series written by Lucine Ohanian, an undergraduate psychology intern with Julie Cardoza, LMFT.
The series reflects Lucine’s learning and the personal experiences and perspectives of those interviewed. Interview content does not necessarily represent the clinical opinions of Julie Cardoza, LMFT.
This series is for educational and informational purposes only and is not psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Individual experiences of perimenopause, menopause, trauma, mental health and health care vary. Questions about personal symptoms, medications, hormone therapy or treatment should be discussed with an appropriately qualified health care professional.
About The Menopauses™
There is more than one menopause—and more than one way to experience it.
The Menopauses™ explores the psychology of natural, early, surgical, treatment-induced and other menopause experiences, including the ways our bodies, histories, identities, relationships and social worlds shape the transition.
It is a growing educational project created by Julie Cardoza, LMFT, bringing greater attention to the space between menopause care and mental health care.
Land Acknowledgment
The Unspoken Change is written in Fresno, California, on the traditional and ancestral lands of the Yokuts and Mono peoples.
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